“The positive thinker sees the invisible, feels the intangible, and achieves the impossible.” –Winston Churchill
When we say “Fertility coaching” what we really mean is “Infertility coaching”.
Although the same process is described, the hearing of the second word provokes an entirely different feeling. The power of a word is massive and can change your whole perspective about something but a coach is here to help you embrace and empower yourself no matter which word you choose to use describing your state.
A woman can be infertile, but only can be characterized as one until conception happens. Meaning that in most cases, there is no irreversible infertility state, excluding the cases of hysterectomy when it is anatomically impossible.
I personally know many people trying to conceive, years after years, naturally or with IVF Treatments, not being successful and not even knowing why they were failing. After giving up on the idea, liberating themselves from the anxiety of pregnancy and parenthood, having a free sexual encounter without any “must do’s” on their minds, the desirable result came! So unexpectedly, nearly translated as a miracle!
And maybe it is. But not in a religious way!
We have a saying here in Greece: “Pray to God but row for shore”. We cannot expect things to happen by themselves and complain if they don’t. It is our journey and our life after all. We need to be conscious and prepared for any outcome, value our strengths, respect our weaknesses, trust the people upon whom we place our hopes, and move forward with whatever decision we make.
That is what Fertility Coaching is all about! Your coach/mentor helps you empower yourself through your fertility journey and finally makes you savor it no matter the outcome.
At the point when you are encountering infertility, speaking with loved ones can be troublesome and testing. Indeed, even the most mindful family member or companion may offer a proposal and act in a way that will seem insensitive to you.
This is when the fertility coach comes into your life! To fill this gap that family, doctors, friends, and partners leave.
A fertility coach has deep knowledge of the fertility process. They may have experienced infertility themselves, but even if they haven’t, their knowledge of the subject makes them completely capable of relating. They empathize with you and their main goal is to motivate you and give you inspiration during this tough period of time, for as long as it takes.
They are there for you, empowering yourself, your mentality and perspective, your defense system so as to cope with a potential failure if needed.
They make you embrace this state you are in and abandon the shame that society may have imposed on you.
Even our closest ones sometimes can make us feel short if something deviates from the expected, although expectations most of the time are set upon us with good intentions.
Fertility coaches are there to give you answers that you could not easily find yourself. You might have spent hours on the web searching for solutions and getting frustrated. The coach can do that job for you and get the personalized support you deserve instead of following the common path. Every case is unique, every person is unique and they know that! They are not there to push you to a treatment that you can either not handle or one that does not fit your needs. They are there to help you find your own truth and stick to it!
Coaches are certified professionals who provide you with the tools for well-being, self-respect, self-acceptance, and fortitude during this long journey.
Based on a study by Harvard University, women getting to a mind-body program had twice the possibility of getting pregnant. Of those women who conceived, 76% did so naturally within a year, regardless of age, time of trying, and diagnosis.
It is also worth mentioning that in 2018, according to a Boston University School of Public Health (BUSPH) report, the low rate of women conceiving is related to high levels of anxiety. This does not tell us that infertility is caused by stress, but it surely indicates that the lack of it, increases the chances of getting pregnant.
I understand that in theory, having a stressless life is easy. Practically, it seems like an impossible achievement mainly due to the pace of our lives. If you add up the psychology of not having the expected result trying with either IVF or naturally, it really can seem utopic. At that point, when you are physically exhausted and you are about to give up and accept your fate, the fertility coach comes into the picture, reminding you that treatment of the mind is equally important to the treatment of the body!
Fertility coaching is a relatively new method of support. It becomes increasingly well known among women as they experience the advantage of lessening the pressure. The methodology is solution-focused and instead of thinking about WHY you feel the manner in which you do, coaching makes you investigate HOW you need to feel.
When you are deep into the infertility process, everything seems hostile. You may feel insecure, useless, guilty, so many negative feelings pile up and end up crashing you. Someone would say that psychoanalysis is a way of confronting your inner fears and drawbacks but this approach is much more time-consuming and in most cases, does not have immediate results. While fertility coaching instructs you without directing you and gives you the chance to investigate your strengths and weaknesses so as to use them in the present time and place.
It makes you accomplish a much more positive attitude and recover a feeling of control, consciousness, and confidence.
Credentials for Fertility Coaches can be a little bit tricky. As mentioned before, it was newly introduced to the world and there is a range of nurses, psychotherapists, nutritionists, CBT therapists (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) to no credentials at all!
Due to its lack of limits regarding your selection for the right one, you have to do some research on your own and take into consideration what your overall goal is.
If you need specific guidelines regarding the procedures of the treatment you have selected and your doctor is not always available -most of the time due to work overload-, maybe the best choice would be a nurse.
In case you want someone to be your emotional support and be your co-partner during the process, a mentor/therapist would be suitable.
In any case, once the first consultation takes place, you will know if the coach is the one that suits you best. The energy and the vibes of the mentor and the mentee are so strong that no rules apply.
Either way, in need or in no need of a fertility coach, you need to make this fertility journey as smooth as possible!
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